


Can't you see that I'm falling?

by hwnghyvnjjn



Series: Lyrics [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band), skz - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M, Suicide, chan is stupid, felix is in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29291607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwnghyvnjjn/pseuds/hwnghyvnjjn
Summary: Felix is falling fast, but Chan is staying grounded.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Series: Lyrics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2151168
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	Can't you see that I'm falling?

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by Why Don't We 's Falling
> 
> ALSO We got a dog and I'm terrified of dogs help

It all started as a joke. 

Felix had always been clingy to his friends, but after overhearing someone call them a rude slur and he’d kissed Chan to rub it in their faces, everything had shifted. 

Felix was still touchy with Chan, but now he was starting to get confused. There were many times when Chris would kiss Felix on the face, and a few times even on the lips. Felix knew he should speak up and ask about their relationship, but he was never able to; he didn’t know how. 

It has been a month since their change in demeanor, and the two were cuddling while watching a movie. Things like this happened often; they would go on ‘dates’ often, usually to get lunch, but occasionally they would just stay home and cuddle. Today they were watching some drama they found on Netflix. 

“Felix,” Chan said, pulling the younger from his thoughts. 

“Yes, Hyung?” 

“Can we go to the gas station and get snacks? No offense, but your neck isn’t as tasty as Dippin Dots.” 

Felix giggled at Chan’s words and turned slightly to look at him. “Okay, sure. Let’s go!” 

The two of them walked to the gas station and bought a million snacks, including Chan’s Dippin Dots, and walked back in the cold, holding hands inside Chan’s pocket. 

“Hyung, can I ask you something?” Felix asked suddenly, although he wasn’t sure why. He knew it was stupid to ask; he and Chan were obviously a thing. However, he knew he should clarify, and put a label on their relationship. 

“Of course, Lix.”

Felix’s heart beat unsteadily, and he was suddenly very nervous. “Uh, uhm.” Chan started rubbing felix’ knuckles to calm him down, which worked because Felix finally caught his breath. “Chan, what are we?” 

There was a tense pause and they both stopped walking, as if their feet were stuck in one spot. “What do you mean?” Chan croaked out. 

Felix’s heart was beating so fast he was sure Chan could hear it too. He cursed himself for getting himself worked up. “Chan, what are we? Are we friends, or boyfriends, or something in the middle?” 

Felix’s heart dropped when he felt Chan let go of his hand, and he let it pathetically drop by his side. He choked slightly when Chan turned and looked at him. “Felix, what makes you think we’re anything more than friends?” 

Ever since that night, Felix felt that he was barely able to look Chan in the eyes, much less hold his hand or kiss him. He honestly felt so stupid, so stupid for falling for his best friend and convincing himself that Chris felt the same. Chan must have noticed how Felix distanced himself, because he tried to cling to him so much more now, as if that would make everything go back to normal. 

It was stupid, and Felix knew it, but he found himself sneaking into Chan’s room at night. They made love for the first time that night, hushed and quiet, and fell asleep with each other. 

The next day when Felix woke up, he felt so ashamed, so gross, but he didn’t get up. He’d feel bad for leaving Chan to wake up on his own, so he stayed, ignoring the growing guilt in his stomach. 

For weeks, Felix found himself taking advantage of Chan once again, cuddling him, kissing him, and even having sex with him, though he knew it was wrong. He was in love with Chan and found himself becoming more and more addicted, taking him like a drug. 

His whole world came falling down when Chan brought home another man. 

Felix had stayed in Chan’s living room, painfully ignoring the loud moans from Chan’s room. And this man must have been special to Chan, because Felix could tell it was Chan on the bottom. 

As much as Felix wanted to go home, he knew he couldn’t. His roommate, Jisung, had kicked him out so he could spend quality time with his own boyfriend. Felix had nowhere to go, which made him feel so useless, so terrible, that he had a panic attack right then. 

It wasn’t Chan that helped him through his panic attack; it was his new boyfriend, Minho. The man sat by his side and helped him through it, while Chan just watched defeatedly, still half naked. 

Minho had made Felix tea and sat him on the couch, telling him everything would be alright, though Felix definitely didn’t feel that way. Then Minho had excused himself to the bathroom, and Felix found himself on the roof of Chan’s apartment building. 

The building was at least 40 stories, with a roof garden that no one actually visited. Felix had found himself visiting that place often, seeing that the view calmed him from his troubles. 

Only tonight, he didn’t feel calm at all. He felt a storm inside him, stirring him up and making him panic again. He knew it wouldn’t be long before Chan and Minho came to find him, so he knew he didn’t have much time to wait. 

Chan’s voice was yelling, crying, when he finally reached the rooftop. Minho was right behind him, trying to calm both of them down, but to no avail. The silent night was broken apart by screams and then silence, when Felix finally freed himself of the burden of living.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos/comments because they make me smile :(


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